Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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