i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
