if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize