apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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