i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
