spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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