Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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