I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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