Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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