I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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