I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
