I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
