you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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