Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Damn victory sex feels great
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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