Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
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How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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