it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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