I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize