PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
