I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
