Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's official drugs can't kill me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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