Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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