I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I need a beard to bite.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
