We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
