i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
