no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
