he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
