he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
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I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
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You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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