In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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