I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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