he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
