I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
