I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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