how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
