you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
