you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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