belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
