The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
my being single is dangerous.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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