Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
