She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You peed on a flamingo?!?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
