whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Sext me about skeletons
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
