just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
