If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
