Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
