you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
