I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize