I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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