So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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