the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
