Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
