I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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