im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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