I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
