i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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