How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
